As soon as Holden starts talking about Mr. Antolini we notice a few distinct differences--primarily he isn't immediately depressed by his decision to come. When he first enters Mr. Spencer's house he says "The minute I walked in , I was sort of sorry I'd come" (6), whereas when he's first coming to Mr. Antolini's house he describes it as "very swanky" (180) and says he'd been there on few other occasions--in short we get the feeling that he's actually looking forward to meeting and talking with Mr. Antolini, something we see in short supply when he meets with Mr. Spencer. Now the question is what is about Mr. Antolini that makes Holden look forward to coming to see him?
Well for one it's clear that Holden can relate to Mr. Antolini more easily than he can to Mr. Spencer. Mr. Antolini acts very full of life and he speaks in a very witty manner--basically the opposite of Mr. Spencer who lectures on at Holden in his wise grandpa-like state. Mr. Antolini gives off an almost cool manner when he answers the door in his bathrobe and slippers with highball in hand--a state Holden finds obviously less depressing than when he meets Mr. Spencer who is also in his bathrobe. Not only has Mr. Antolini just finished a party, but he even offers Holden a cigarette, something I doubt Mr. Spencer would have ever done. He doesn't immediately start trying to tell Holden what he should be doing--I'd even go so far as to say that he treats Holden much more as an equal then Spencer does. Mr. Antolini doesn't give off an air of being the elder person trying it impart their wisdom on a younger person. To me at least, Mr. Antolini gives off much more of a vibe of being Holden's friend. He speaks to Holden frankly, but kindly, giving him good advice, without coming off as thinking himself explicitly more experienced than Holden. I think this is really where we see J.D. Salinger giving advice to his adult audience about how to connect with teenagers--if you want to someone like Holden Caulfield to really respect you and pay attention to you, you need to give off not an air of having something they need to hear, but of being caring friend who treats him as an equal.
Oh, that's interesting--Antolini as a kind of model for how an adult should engage a guy like Holden (with the implication that Salinger himself is good at writing in a way that a young reader can relate to, so he should know). I've often read that scene as the closest we get to Salinger offering a kind of "moral" to his story--where he gives some good advice to potential "Holdens" who are reading the book. But I like the idea that he also gives a model for how adults and teenagers can relate on a more respectful, peer-type level. (So maybe ixnay on the head-patting, huh?)
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